What Qualifies as Grooming in a Sexual Abuse Case

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Sexual abuse often involves grooming behavior meant to build trust with the victim and make them more compliant with the abuser’s sexual advances. If you believe someone you know has been sexually abused, proving grooming behavior may be a significant element of a lawsuit.

Grooming behavior usually occurs gradually before sexual abuse occurs. It may include things that are easy to mistake for genuine, platonic affection, like gifts and special attention. It may also include more concerning behaviors, like isolating the victim from loved ones. If you spot signs of possible grooming behavior, you should call the police and report your concerns, and hire a lawyer to review your legal options.

Speak to our lawyers for victims of sexual abuse for a free case review by calling The Law Office of Andrew Shubin at (814) 826-3586.

What is Grooming Behavior in Relation to Sexual Abuse?

Grooming behavior occurs when someone gradually builds a connection and trust with an intended victim. Often, grooming behavior helps make sure a victim is more compliant with the abuser’s sexual advances. Grooming behavior can be difficult to identify, as it is not always sexual in nature. Many victims do not realize they are being groomed until it is too late.

Can You Sue for Grooming Behavior?

If grooming behavior directly causes real harm, you can probably sue. Most civil cases involving alleged grooming behavior also involve actual sexual abuse. However, it may still be possible to sue even if sexual abuse did not occur. For example, victims or their parents may sue for the intentional infliction of emotional distress. You can also sue people who were responsible for your child’s well-being and failed to prevent grooming behavior.

What Evidence Do You Need to Prove Grooming Behavior?

Below are some examples of evidence we should consider when taking legal action related to grooming and sexual abuse.

Communications

Evidence of communications (e.g., texts, emails, social media messages) between the abuser and victim may be crucial. Many victims believe they are in a consensual relationship. As such, they may exchange romantic and inappropriate messages with the person grooming them.

Gifts

Gifts from the groomer to your child may also be entered into evidence. Sometimes, gifts clearly have a romantic or sexual intent. For example, overly lavish gifts, like jewelry or expensive clothes, or inappropriate gifts like lingerie can be used as evidence of grooming.

Testimony

The victim’s testimony may also be crucial. Once they realize that their relationship is not consensual and that they have been groomed, the victim may explain the exact nature of the relationship and whether any abuse occurred.

Who Can You Sue for Grooming Behavior in a Sexual Abuse Case?

If you believe your child has been the victim of grooming behavior, speak to an attorney about possible legal options.

The Person Grooming the Victim

The person who engaged in the grooming behavior can be held accountable in a civil lawsuit. You should also contact the police and report their behavior, and they may face criminal charges. While suing the perpetrator of grooming behavior may be an option, it may be a good idea to include other defendants. One person might not have the financial resources to cover all your damages.

Employers

If the defendant used their position of employment to access victims or otherwise engage in grooming behavior and sexual abuse, our lawyers for victims of sexual abuse can sue the abuser and their employer.

The employer may be held liable if they knew of the abuse, or reasonably should have known, and failed to do anything about it. Alternatively, even if the employer did not know about the abuse but created a situation in which abuse and grooming were likely to occur, they may be held liable. For example, hiring someone known to have a background of abuse and giving them unsupervised access to potential victims.

Schools

Many abuse and grooming cases involve schools. Students may report being groomed by a teacher, coach, or school administrator. In such cases, victims and their families may sue the school for causing the abuse or failing to stop it.

Churches

Churches and other religious institutions have seen their fair share of backlash related to sexual abuse in the past few years. If you believe a church leader groomed your child for sexual abuse, report the situation to the police and call a lawyer. We can sue the religious organization for damages.

Common Examples of Grooming Behavior in Sexual Abuse Cases

Grooming behavior may be somewhat different in each case. Below are common examples of grooming, although there are many more, and your specific case may differ.

Special attention
Providing gifts or favors
Playing a role in the victim’s life (e.g., offering mentorship)
Escalating physical affection (e.g., from hugging to petting to kissing)
Isolation from friends or family
Romantic gestures (e.g., buying flowers, arranging dates)
Fear tactics (usually to keep victims quiet and compliant)

How Can Parents Determine Whether Grooming Behavior is Happening?

Grooming victims may become more secretive, concealing their relationship with the groomer. Groomers often isolate victims from loved ones, and you might notice your child is around less often and is less communicative.

Is your child talking about an adult in their life too much? A child might talk about their favorite teacher sometimes, but talking about them every day as if they were a friend rather than an adult authority figure may be cause for concern.

How is your child spending their time? Groomers may gradually begin to dominate the victim’s life. Young victims may spend less time working on schoolwork, or they may give up hobbies in favor of spending more time with the person grooming them.

Differences Between Grooming Behavior and Consensual Relationships

A major difference between grooming behavior and a healthy, consensual relationship is that grooming behavior involves manipulation tactics. The victim is being coached and coaxed into doing things the person grooming them wants them to do, not because they have made a conscious choice.

Also, grooming often involves relationships that are inappropriate or illegal. For example, grooming usually occurs between an adult and a child victim, and the relationship cannot possibly be a consensual one.

What Should You Do if You Suspect Grooming Behavior?

If you believe your child is being groomed, or if you recall a person from your past whom you believe groomed you, call the police and call a lawyer. If your child is involved, remove your child from the situation immediately. We can work with law enforcement to determine if sexual abuse occurred and what the next steps should be.

Can Grooming Behavior Happen Over the Internet?

Yes. Grooming behavior frequently occurs online through social media or other digital portals. In such cases, digital evidence may be key, and we should work to obtain any digital messages and data related to the grooming behavior.